With the new year I reflected on my home and began praying over it. I want more peace inside these walls that hold 6 of us. Instead of reacting to my husband and children, I want to respond to them. I want to be alert and aware of the enemy’s schemes that are disrupting my peace. The Word of God tells us how to regain that peace in our homes and live in a way that allows us to simply follow God. We do not have to fix our children or our husbands, or even ourselves. All we have to do is open our hearts completely to the Lord and allow him to change us. To be moldable, workable clay that he can work into an image that is like Jesus. And give to Him, in prayer, our spouses and families. Jesus is the protector of our hearts and when we allow him to do his work in and through us it will open up an atmosphere for him to do the same in others lives. His yoke is easy and his burden is light.
As wives, we are the heartbeat of our home. If it is to be a place of joy and rest, it is up to us. When we are following God, and being obedient to him the Bible tells us, “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house…” Psalm 128:3 A fruitful vine is bearing fruit, thriving, and refreshing others. Note the words, within your house. Being a wife and mother is more important than anything we will do outside of our home. God has given us, through him, an influence over others within the walls of our homes. An influence unlike any other. Doing work for the Lord outside our homes is wonderful yes, after we are in obedience to him inside of our homes, giving our best efforts there first.
Characteristics of a Godly wife
Wisdom and Fear of the Lord – We can build our home and establish it and FILL it with RARE and BEAUTIFUL TREASURES! It all begins with fearing the Lord, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Proverbs 9:1 With this verse, we have wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Now look at what you can do with that for your home, “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” Proverbs 24:3-4 Wise women spend time getting to KNOW the Holy One, understanding all that He is, his character, and his ways. To know his power, might, and sovereignty, and to realize she is nothing apart from him. To know his ways and walk in them. She then tries with every area of her life to obey him and worship him and thank him. Without knowing and fearing the Lord, she is, without intention, tearing apart the inside and outside of her home: “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1
Non-Quarrelsome – Quarrelsome is being argumentative, provoking, quick to quarrel, quick to anger. Selfish in not getting your way and then making sure your husband knows about it by your actions. I know I struggle with being able to just “let it go” and it’s something I must pray about often. Especially because I NEVER want my husband to prefer to live on the corner of our roof by himself than inside of it with me. And I NEVER want to be like a dripping faucet to him, wearing him down, annoying him, and leaving him wishing it would just stop and turn off already: “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Proverbs 21:9 A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day, restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.” Proverbs 27:15 Oh Lord, don’t let me be a constant dripping that is wearing my husband down, and leaves him feeling hopeless for it to get better. Let me be full of words that encourage him, building him up. A rushing water of love and encouragement from which the source is you.
Being willing and saying YES to the Lord – During the difficult days, it’s hard to remember that God has called you to this. To being a wife and mother. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to get up and bring everything together inside of us to say, “Yes, Lord. Whatever you have asked of me, I will do it.” If he’s asked you to mother one child or four, willingly do what he’s asked of you. Be like Mary, the young virgin bride who was told she would be with child and knowing all the questions that would bring from her soon to be husband, her family, her friends simply said, “I am the Lord’s servant, may it be to me as you have said.” Luke 1:38 When we have a heart that is WILLING, a heart that is ready to accept what the Lord has for us, he will strengthen us: “Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart.” Psalm 31:24
Self-control – I’m sure most of us have areas where we need more self-control. “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.” Proverbs 25:28 To quote Matthew Henry, “In Biblical times, the key to a city’s security was its strong walls. A city with broken walls has clearly been defeated and left vulnerable for further attack. The person without self-control is in a similar position, although his conqueror is the passions of his own spirit. They overwhelm him, disgrace him, and leave him vulnerable to further shameful outbursts. A man controlled by the Holy Spirit has far better prospects.” I started praying and seeing areas of my life that were left vulnerable to an enemy who only needs an inch in the door. What areas of your life are leaving you like a city without the protection of its walls? It may be anger that isn’t bridled and comes out in outbursts scarring those around you. It may be sugar. Maybe you are running to sugar instead of to Jesus for his sweetness. Maybe it’s technology. “If you find honey, eat just enough-too much of it, and you will vomit.” Proverbs 25:16 There may be things in your life that are good and beneficial, but too much of it will make you sick, physically or emotionally. Whatever it is, rebuild your walls. Make boundaries and pray that the Spirit will help you find self-control.
Prudence – Pray to be a prudent wife, “…but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” Proverbs 19:14 Being prudent means showing care and thought for the future. Seeing and handling problems involved in running a household, and finding solutions and doing all we can to successfully manage the home. I am not a planner by nature, so I have to work at it, but it pays off when I do. I am still flexible on so much, but planning certain things helps me cut down on decision overload.
Let us dig into the Word and ask God to show us and help us bring holiness into our home.