If you look around at mainstream media, marketing, and the social climate you may have noticed that we live in a sexually charged society here in America. Today’s kids aren’t as naïve and blind as they are often thought of. Unfortunately too many of these young children are awakening love before its time.
The CDC found that between 2011 and 2013 the mean age for first time sexual intercourse for men was 16.8, and 17.2 for women. These stats show an average.
These stats do not point out the very young age at which some children are engaging in sex. Sadly, I know of children who have engaged in such acts as young as 10 and 11.
Now this is not meant to be a statistical dissertation on sexual activity of young children so let’s move on.
Don’t Awaken Love Before Its Time
Three times in Song of Solomon we are given the cautious guidance to not awaken love before its time (marriage). (Song of Solomon 2:7; 3:5; 8:4)
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the hinds of the field, That you do not arouse or awaken my love Until she pleases.
Solomon’s bride understood the commandments to keep the wedding bed for marriage, but beyond this she understood the importance of why she should.
We can read and recite the Do’s and Don’ts of when to have sex from the Bible all day long, but your children need to know the Why’s. They need to understand that love is a garden and when foxes are allowed in they will eat the finest fruit and trample the blossoms. (Explore Song of Solomon for greater understanding of this analogy.)
Sex outside of marriage is a detriment to future relationships. When love is awakened before its time, it can destroy a person mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. This is not meant to down play the restorative work of the Holy Spirit in any way.
Your child’s virginity is the most “precious fruit in the garden.” Once it is taken, it is gone. It is a precious gift that by design is meant for a spouse.
We have become a microwave society, an institution of instant gratification. Children need to learn the most rewarding gifts often come through patience and diligence.
Sex is not made for men and women, it is made for husband and wife. The greatest of sexual rewards comes from soulful unity between a bride and bridegroom.
Our society would have us believe that sexual exploration is the reward in itself. In reality the integrity and satisfaction that comes with saving yourself for your spouse on your wedding night far exceeds momentary and passing pleasures.
We should not lay aside the costly effects and risks of pregnancy, STD, and social shaming that can also arise from awakening love before its time.
I would encourage every parent to read, and then have your young teenager read The Mingling Of Souls. In it Matt Chandler does a superb job of dissecting the entire process from dating to marriage and beyond through the lens of Song of Solomon.
One of the greatest gifts you can give to your children is the understanding of why they should not awaken love before its time. Instill it within them as a valuable precious jewel, so they desire to not awaken love before its time.