We often envision in our minds living out our marriages like the characters of a Disney movie. But what happens when happily ever after doesn’t come?
We never plan to have a failing marriage. We never plan to have a bad relationship, but just as Benjamin Franklin said, “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”
If your marriage is not falling into the happily ever after category, fear not. There is hope. I believe no marriage is beyond resurrection and new life. There is hope in Christ to restore your relationship and make it powerful.
The Spirit And The Flesh
First survey the Spirit, the soul, and the flesh. Scripture tells us the Spirit and the flesh are constantly at battle.
For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another – Galatians 5:17
The Spirit, Christ’s spirit, dwells in our inner most man with our spirit. We must be humbled; our flesh or “the self” has to be broken and allow His Spirit to come forth.
Is your flesh acting out against your spouse, or is the Spirit living through you to love them?
Next, survey your soul. The soul consists of your mind, your will, and your emotions. What are you telling yourself in the theater of your mind about your marriage?
Are you not happy because your spouse has failed to meet an expectation you had for your relationship?
Are you not happy in your marriage because you have allowed one situation to drain your relationship of all of its happiness, and you have carried it over in the remainder of your relationship?
Your mindset makes an incredible difference. What you tell yourself in the theater of your mind is what you believe in your heart, and out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks, and your actions display.
If you are telling yourself in your mind that you have a bad marriage, try resetting your thinking. Set your mind on Christ (Col. 3:2). Have Him renew your mind (Rom. 12:2).
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. – Philippians 4:8
Why did Paul tell us this? He said it because he knew that when we dwell on the negative things around us it would destroy us. It will destroy our relationships.
In the book Saving Your Marriage Before (Or After) It Starts, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott discuss developing the habit of happiness.
Developing the habit of happiness involves “developing the right attitude in spite of the circumstances we find ourselves in.”
He also states, “happy couples decide to be happy.”
Determine in your will you will have a great marriage. Set your mind and your emotions to love your spouse as Christ loves the Church. (This goes for husbands and wives).
Happily ever after starts with you.
No matter where your relationship is today you can have a powerful marriage. Know this, your marriage is a sign post. It is a sign post of eternity, and a collision of heaven and earth. It is a symbol and a shadow of the coming together of Christ and the Bride. Do not allow the circumstances of life to destroy that sign post to the world around you.
You can have a greater marriage. You can have a powerful marriage, even if happily ever after doesn’t look like the movies.