From What He Must Be: If He Wants to Marry My Daughter by Voddie Baucham, pp. 28-29.
This book is not an attempt to absolve young women of their responsibility. Ultimately they are the ones who will walk the aisle and take the vows. They are the ones who will either accept or reject the proposal. That is why this book is in large part for them. Have your daughters read this book. Doing so will be helpful in several ways.First, this book will help young women gain a better understanding of what they should be looking for. As the old saying goes, if you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there. Sadly, this is precisely the way many young women approach marriage. Casual dating turns into a long-term relationship. A long-term relationship turns into a foregone conclusion. And eventually that foregone conclusion turns into a marriage. This does not have to be the case. There is more! We must help our daughters turn their affections away from cultural conditioning and toward biblical truth.Second, this book will help young women see the importance of partnering with their parents in the courtship process. I believe most young women want their parents involved in this. Of course, the culture has painted them into a corner, and they don’t quite know how to get out. Nevertheless, many young women want some degree of help when it comes to choosing a mate. After all, this is the most life-altering decision they will make apart from coming to repentance and faith in Christ.Finally, this book will help young women realize their dependence upon God. Reading the biblical characteristics of a godly man can be a bit intimidating. Since the bar has been set so low for so long in our culture, many of the qualities and characteristics seem strange, and perhaps a bit distant. But they are supposed to be. This book is not about what every Tom, Dick, and Harry already is; this is about what a God-honoring, Christ-exalting, Bible-believing husband must be. If it were easy or normal, there would be no need for this book. Only God can bring about the kind of change necessary in a young man to prepare him to be the kind of husband the Scriptures portray. Thus, reading this book should drive young women to their knees as they plead with God to make a man like this and bring him across their path. In the meantime, we must not settle for less than what he must be.
The question: How much responsibility should a young woman have in the dating or courtship process?