Dec 5, 2011

10 Things To Remember When Your Child Is Disobedient


Here are 10 Things I had to remind myself today when the job of correcting my children felt especially difficult…
1. You disobey the Lord…and He is the perfect Father.
2. His kindness leads us to repentance.
3. God disciplines those He loves.
4. Your child’s disobedience does not measure your value any more than his obedience showcases your achievement.
5. Your child’s disobedience teaches you dependence on God.
6. And sometimes it’s more than dependence He’s after, it’s complete desperation for Him.
7. Your child is clearly a sinner, and needs to hear the truth of the Gospel, and see it lived out through you.
You can finish reading points 8-10 at the the blog  Grace Laced 

36 comments:

Cheryl said...

Love this! We all need reminded (even those of us who have been at this parenting thing for 27+ years!). Thank you for sharing!

Anonymous said...

really love #4 that's the reminder I often need ! Thanks !
Sharlene

Anonymous said...

I think you should include that it is OK to correct them they need boundaries and you should be constant if they do something deserving punishment make the punishment the same every time and remember some things aren't worth it they are kids !!

Anonymous said...

I am being serious, and please know that i don't boast my children's behavior that it's all me me me me me, but who's achievement is it?? Is my child being obedient Gods achievement? Can you explain this to a new Christian?? Thank you do much I appreciate your feedback to help me grow!

Anonymous said...

It would've been nice to hear a response, and get some help.

Raising Godly Children said...

@Anonymous
Well, God is the one who changes the heart of the child. God is the one who saves the child. But He does allow the parent to shepherd a child's heart. Hope that makes sense : - )

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous

It's God's achievement if your child's behavior changes, and your fault if it doesn't. That's how religion works...

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous

It is our job and responsibility as parents "to train up a child"... we as parents are to teach our children what is right and what is wrong, it is our job to encourage them and to discipline them as part of that training. In the end, it is up to the child to decide whether or not they will abide. I do not believe it is necessarily the parents fault or God's fault, but each person has the ability to make their own decisions in this life.

We can pat ourselves on the back when a child behaves, but what of the child who is rebellious? both children have the same parent... do we get mad at God for the rebellious one and praise Him for the well-behaved one? Each child has their own unique personalities...some require more effort on our parts... encourage them to use their unique personalities to glorify God.
In short, the answer to your question, it's a group effort and your child's achievement in the end... pat them on the back and give them a hug when they do well :)

Nichole said...

These are some good thoughts. We need to pray daily for guidance and wisdom while raising children. While I agree that children need to see their parents living out the gospel, I 100% disagree that they are sinners. Even Christ himself had to reach an age of accountability. That is dangerous ground to think that a child is a sinner. Why did Christ tell His disciples to let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them? Every example of salvation found in the new testament is with grown men and woman making the confession that they believe in Christ, and they repent from their sins. It's at that time they are baptized and become a Christian. Children need to grow and learn before they can take those steps.
God loves these little ones and has placed them In our hands to guide them and teach them what the bible says.

Anonymous said...

Nichole, don't normally do this, BUT , since you are ok with dispensing open rebukes, you should be ok with receiving them. Please check the context to the scriptures you are using to prove your theory of tubula rosa. The mark chapter 10 account of Jesus calling the children to Himself is
placed there to warn those hindering people (children) from coming to the
Savior. It speaks nothing of children being
sinless. Telling children that they are not
sinful until a "cerrtain age" couldn't be
more contradictory to what the Bible
teaches about original sin. I can't think of a
greater hinderance to the Gospel, than
leading children to believe they are without
sin.

Anonymous said...

I love what Anonyous #? said...

"In short, the answer to your question, it's a group effort and your child's achievement in the end... pat them on the back and give them a hug when they do well :) "

This is something I believe spoke to me the most. Thank you for that!

And over the last few arguments over children being sinners. While I myself do belief we are all born into this world sinners, I do understand how it can be difficult to wrap your mind around a precious baby or child being filled with dark ugly sin.

I have had many new Christian friends that try to understand this. I am by no means an expert as are none of us, but maybe this may help for any future readers-or maybe not? :)

According to God's word, we are all born into this world sinners and will one day understand what that means and must make a decision as to who we will follow in life. Continue to follow a sinful path or ask for forgivness and follow Christ (Age of Accountability)

Up until the point of realization, which I believe is different for each individual and not a set age as they had in the Bible, God takes into consideration the babies and children that have not yet reached that point. I have had many ask "So God would send a baby to hell?" I wholeheartedly believe the answer to that is no. Were they born with sin...yes
Do they understand that...no

God is a loving God and cares for his children-of all ages. He holds us all accountable for that which we know. :)

Anonymous said...

Im not so sure if a child as sinner is such a forgone conclusion. It may be true, but there is also a lot of room, important room, for debate on that issue. I do not think it does Scripture justice to draw such simplistic and rash conclusions.

Anonymous said...

Often disobedience is a proper response to a situation, and sometimes even necessary, I trust that parents know when disobedience is desirable and when it is not, but it is an angle of the topic worth opening up. Parents, what do you think of the moments when disobedience is desirable? And how do you think this more sophisticated conception of disobedience could be taught to out children?

Anna Watson said...

these are wonderful and much needed reminders! thanks so much :)

Anonymous said...

Also Nichole, we're told in scripture a few times that entire households were baptized...ENTIRE. It doesn't say that only the adults were baptized, children and babies were baptized as well. At the age of accountibility is when children choose to accept the Lord as their Savior. Christ received the gift of the Holy Spirit at baptism, why make a child wait to receive that gift when that gift is so important in training up a child. If the very first Christians were baptizing their entire households, then that's what will happen in mine...and did :)

Anonymous said...

My personal opinion, is that a childs obedience is their achievement. They have a choice (free will) to obey or not obey. If they choose obedience it would seem that they have achieved something, not me.

Anonymous said...

number 7 said, if my child is disobedient he or she is a clearly sinner?? Come on, thats a bit much I think.. or maybe I'm reading it wrong....Don't agree with that!!

Anonymous said...

I totally disagree. We were born into sin, weren't we?

Anonymous said...

For ALL HAVE SINNED and come short of glory of God... not all will sin or some have sinned but all have sinned. Also the punishment of sin is death... our children would not die in theory if they were not guilty of sin. They are born into sin because of Adam.
Romans 5:12 NIV
Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned—

Anonymous said...

Psalm 51:5-6 NIV

Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place....

YES EVEN BABIES ARE SINNERS!!! but they are not held accountable until they can understand right and wrong which is different for every child :)

Anonymous said...

Is this post for real. Raising Godly children is of course leading by example, but we can't expect our children to be adults. The bottom line is that they are children and they are going to be disobedient because although we may teach them what's right they don't think like adults. This post doesn't make any sense to me. But hey, good luck with what you believe especially if you have to create a post about a disobedient child....You're going to need it.

Anonymous said...

seriously? i think this is geared more toward trying to make mommy feel okay that her kids are brats!, i mean really?, praise mommy that her kids are disobedient! it's God's achievement?
and God PUNISHES is when we are disobedient??? No. Not so.
saying, you disobey God, and He is the perfect Father... true, yes. so, hey, maybe yout still a good parent! great. however, your kids not minding is NOT God's doing, and yes, we we all born into this earth, but if as parent, you claim that baby as God's child, covered by the blood of Jesus, then it's so. period. and God isn't going to make you're kids disobedient so you want God more. this makes no since to me except trying to console a pitty party mommy.
just my interpretation. call me MAD.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous
no one tried to explain that cuz its plain & simple NONSENSE. it's your job to teach them, and God will lead you. God is not punishing us, making them bad kids just so we long for him more. call me MAD, but, I think that's crazy.

Anonymous said...

This makes me so happy that I don't live in the USA. We're in the 21st century for crying out loud, I thought religion was nearing an end. But obviously not, since some kids have parents like this and will probably become exactly like their parents (not their fault, they have no choice). I just hope your kids get some proper education and learn to think.

Have a great day!

Love,
Tina

Anonymous said...

Raising Children filled with GUILT can be The name of this website too...
...Ah-mazing how moms can agree in seeding feeling of guilt , fear & perceptions of a MEAN & PUNISHER GOD that'gets mad at you' if you're not doing what mom and dad say, ALL OF THOSE feelings totally HUMAN because a true god, spiritual entity or whatever you want to called if is so perfect HAS NONE OF THOSE FEELINGS in it...there ARE SMART WAYS to raise good human beings without making them feel Insecure, guilty & fearful of parents & life, that's WHY religion is the MAIN reason of wars around the world, many blind people corrupting the adults of the future with the insane crap that says God is bad, is going to punish you blah blah.... Wao...2013 and Humanity is still sooo behind .... uff !!!

Anonymous said...

LOL..that sums it up.

Anonymous said...

Couldn't agree more. Nicely put :)

Tehila - Women Abiding said...

These are great reminders and truths! If we do not discipline our children, then WE are the ones being disobedient to our Father in Heaven, who commanded us to discipline our little ones.

Thank you for these reminders. They have served as a great encouragement to me today!

God bless you as you abide in Him!

David Kellogg said...

If it weren't for Gods kindness, I would not have not changed. I'm rasing 3 small boys on my own :) enough said.

JaMiEj said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Wow! And you wonder why people are moving away from the Church!

Kelly said...

Can anyone give me a scriptural refrence for the "age of accountibility"? I haven't found one...

girl said...

Hi hop and the rest of the days she was in a while ago

Cachirola Rola Rola said...

Are you insane?"Your child is clearly a sinner, and needs to hear the truth of the Gospel, and see it lived out through you." Can't believe this.

Anonymous said...

I have heard those who argue that children are sinless. This is a worldly view, and contrary to the scriptures. This would be the same worldly mindset that has people believe that abortion and homosexuality are "freedom" and "choices". The sinful nature is passed down, and therefore the newborn child is born with the propensity to sin; And none are good, none are able to escape untainted by that sinful nature. Which is exactly why ALL of us need Jesus...even a newborn! May God give strength to the parents to raise them in a godly way, and not fall into the many snares of this world; A world that directly opposes God's will, and God's council, and God's offer of salvation for those who wholeheartedly seek it.

Anonymous said...

I love my son with all my heart. But even now at the age of 4 he is making me consider given him and his unborn brother up for adoption. I am raising him by myself and becoming more resentful as the days go by. Please help me understand what I am doing wrong.

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