I am sitting in the Omaha airport right now and currently witnessing one of the most horrendous episodes of unchecked child outrage that I have ever seen. The little girl is about 6 years old and is hitting, kicking, screaming (my ears are ringing right now), and running away from her Mom. Her Mom is sort of trying to do something about it, but simply will not discipline her child.
Thoughts:
1. I don’t have all the information. This seems rather extreme, but perhaps there is information that I am not privy too that would help explain this situation. I should not be too quick to judge until I have listened to understand. Self-righteousness is right around the corner in my heart. I should easily remember the times (just about 10 min ago when we were passing through the security check!) when my children were hard to manage.
2. Kids are crying out for discipline. It’s almost as though this little girl loves the give and take dance of her lashing out and her mother quietly trying to tell her to sit down. I believe that kids instinctively know that they need to be lovingly disciplined. It shows attentive care for them. You can see it in this little girl’s eyes when she freaks out at her Mom that she is just waiting for her Mom to do something and continues to push it until she get some sort of reaction.
3. Kids will take as far as you give them. Sin runs deep in all of us and if we don’t model God’s disapproval for sin we do them a grave disservice. “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod ofdiscipline drives it far from him.” Prov. 22:15.
4. The way to keep your child in check has to start at the home. If you want to manage your children well in public you had better be sure to manage them consistently at home, especially since you might get slapped with a lawsuit if you attempt to spank your child in public. I am not comfortable with spanking my kids in public, but my children know for sure that Dad will follow through when we are in the appropriate context. Your kids have to know that your words mean something. If you never follow through with what you say you are going to do then you simply become a liar in their eyes.
Thoughts:
1. I don’t have all the information. This seems rather extreme, but perhaps there is information that I am not privy too that would help explain this situation. I should not be too quick to judge until I have listened to understand. Self-righteousness is right around the corner in my heart. I should easily remember the times (just about 10 min ago when we were passing through the security check!) when my children were hard to manage.
2. Kids are crying out for discipline. It’s almost as though this little girl loves the give and take dance of her lashing out and her mother quietly trying to tell her to sit down. I believe that kids instinctively know that they need to be lovingly disciplined. It shows attentive care for them. You can see it in this little girl’s eyes when she freaks out at her Mom that she is just waiting for her Mom to do something and continues to push it until she get some sort of reaction.
3. Kids will take as far as you give them. Sin runs deep in all of us and if we don’t model God’s disapproval for sin we do them a grave disservice. “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod ofdiscipline drives it far from him.” Prov. 22:15.
4. The way to keep your child in check has to start at the home. If you want to manage your children well in public you had better be sure to manage them consistently at home, especially since you might get slapped with a lawsuit if you attempt to spank your child in public. I am not comfortable with spanking my kids in public, but my children know for sure that Dad will follow through when we are in the appropriate context. Your kids have to know that your words mean something. If you never follow through with what you say you are going to do then you simply become a liar in their eyes.
Article from Take Your Vitamin Z
My mother used to say: A child will ask for a spanking saying: please, mommy, please, please tell me where the limits are.
I certainly know it's true. I've seen it too many times…
We mothers (and fathers) need to take the responsibility and the authority God has given us and implement it.
I used to be so afraid of disciplining my children in public. Now…I don't care. With 4 boys, I have to…otherwise I would be a complete basket case.
Poor Mom…I'm not sure she knew what to do.
Unfortunately, this post sounds too familiar. I have 3 girls, the oldest is 5 and has been the most challenging from day one. she is a highly sensitive child so many "normal" avenues of discipline have not worked for her. Having a child prone to tantrums and extreme anger is exhausting and discouraging. I can't tell you how helpless I feel at times. Now had I been this mother, we would have headed straight for the bathrooms for a good spanking and talking to. I will admit discipline before I was a parent seemed so easy, but now it has been the hardest for me to be consistent with, especially with a child who is so challenging. I can't tell you the nights I have spent crying over the helplessness of how to help her. If you have any ideas, I am all ears. Thank you for not judging that mother too harshly. I am sure she needs to do more, but I can appreciate the defeat you often feel and just give in to. I have to constantly remind myself that my children are not my own, but Gods and for their souls sake, must discipline them accordingly.
It is hard to discipline in public, especially having HAD the authorities called rather than being approached when someone was bothered. The authorities saw no problem and even asked if we had any 'enemies' who would be trying to harm us. For five years I was plagued with fear of every incident my child might start that would require such action. This resulted in bitterness toward my child much of the time. My allowing fear into all future situations really changed our relationship for the worse. I would encourage everyone reading this to support parents who try to train thier children and talk to them if you have ANY concern. God bles syou all in your efforts! It's a hard job.
I just thought of a couple other things:
Training does begin at home. We were very consistant and joyful before someone had a problem with us. As a result, so was our child. He did very well most all the time. So our discipline was effective, because we addressed problems immediately, every time. When someone reported us, the fear was present and the consistency went out the window. The joy in PUBLIC situations was gone, replaced with the bitterness. Therefore, he began pushing those limits, wanting to know where his safety boundries were and, frankly, we didn't know anymore. So the key is JOY, JOY, JOY and consistancy, everywhere. Trust the Lord's way is BEST and find peace and courage in that.
My grandson would act this way and, I'm sure, get a lot of attention from others, like you observed. He is Autistic and when in an unfamiliar, noisy, 'scarry' place, would act the same to compensate for not being able to control his environment.
http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/symptoms
I have two sons with autism. You cannot tell by looking at them, most people would never know unless they were around them for a spell. When a child on the spectrum has a meltdown, it can look a lot like what you've witnessed. In that case, discipline is not the answer.
Like you, I try not to judge a situation but there are times I have just sat and prayed for guidance for parents of children I've seen displaying less than appropriate behavior. There is a distinguishable difference between the overload meltdown of a special needs child and one who has not been properly parented.
I often wonder when it became politically incorrect to install values, manners, limits and discipline on children. I certainly never got the memo!